The Bu Life Journal

I finally bit the bullet and decided to do the Function Health test.

For a long time, I’ve felt frustrated by the fact that our healthcare system and insurance don’t always cover the tests we actually want,or need. And when they do, it often comes at a pretty significant cost. As someone who spends so much time thinking about health, longevity, movement, and how to age well, I’ve always wanted a deeper look under the hood.

Function Health seemed to offer exactly that. For $395, they run a comprehensive panel of blood work, review the results, and provide recommendations based on your specific biomarkers. They identify areas to focus on, suggest supplements, and give you a roadmap for optimizing your health. With this you get a follow up panel of blood tests 6 months down the line to see if some of the changes you have made have impacted your previous results! Whether every recommendation is right for every person is a conversation for another day, but I was fascinated by the amount of information they provide.

What I wasn’t expecting was the one result that made me title this post: WTF… HOLY CRAP!

In a few weeks, I turn 50. Even writing that feels strange.

Like many women approaching this milestone, I’ve been reflecting on how I feel physically, mentally, and emotionally. This year I’ve made some meaningful changes. I gave up drinking in January. I’ve been trying to navigate the wonderful world of peri-menopause, or as I prefer to call it, “peri-whatever-fuck-pause”, which seems to be the topic of conversation among every woman I know right now.

I’ve continued with my Pilates practice, focused on lifting weights, paid more attention to my nutrition, and generally tried to be more intentional about how I care for myself. Not perfectly, of course, just consistently. Some days better than others.

The funny thing about wellness is that most of the time there is very little validation. We spend years showing up for ourselves, making small decisions that hopefully move us in the right direction, but rarely do we get proof that any of it is actually working.

Nobody hands you an award because your cholesterol improved.

Nobody congratulates you because your muscle mass is helping protect your future.

Nobody celebrates the diseases you may have prevented, the falls you may have avoided, or the strength you’ve quietly built over decades.

For years, society gave us one form of validation: weight loss.

If the scale moved, people noticed. If your clothes got smaller, everyone celebrated.

But today, weight loss has become a much more complicated measure of health. Between medications, injections, supplements, and countless programs, losing weight no longer tells the whole story. It made me wonder if we’ve been measuring the wrong thing all along.

And then I got my Function Health results.

Before I tell you the number, there’s something you should know about me.

Ever since I turned 36, I have told my kids that I am 36, every year, without fail.

Forty? Nope.

Forty-three? Still 36.

Forty-eight? Definitely 36.

It’s become a standing joke in our family. My boys know exactly what’s coming every birthday, and I continue to insist that time stopped sometime around 2009.

So imagine my surprise when I opened my results and saw my biological age…

THIRTY-SEVEN!

(I’m gonna round down to 37!)

37 37 37!!! WHAAATTTT!

I actually laughed out loud.

For years I’ve been joking that I’m 36, and now science is telling me I’m basically right.

Holy crap.

For the first time in a long time, I felt a sense of validation that had nothing to do with a number on a scale. It wasn’t about looking younger. It wasn’t about fitting into a certain size. It wasn’t about anyone else’s opinion.

It was validation that the things I’ve been working toward actually matter.

The Pilates classes.

The strength training.

The decision to stop drinking.

The focus on sleep.

The healthier habits.

The commitment to keep showing up even when I didn’t necessarily feel my best.

It reminded me that wellness isn’t really about looking younger. It’s about creating a body and a life that function younger. It’s about protecting our energy, our strength, our mobility, our independence, and our ability to keep doing the things we love for as long as possible.

So while my driver’s license says I’m turning 50, my biological age says something very different.

And honestly, that’s the best birthday gift I’ve received in years.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have four boys to inform that after all these years, their mother was right.

I may not be 36.

But apparently I’m pretty damn close.

WTF.

Because the most beautiful life is the one we build together. Keep going your’e doing great!

❤️ Sam